(no subject)

well were all going through the same thing. theres is no level of sweetness kindness or love that can ensure saftey and love so unconditional that you can live your life fealessly and without compromise. got to talk to jimmy about his own personal turmoil and relationship. we all want the same thing. to shelter our loved ones and be free in the the world doing something we identify with. sometimes we forget to hug and love the women we have at home who gives us strength and that feeling of fearlessness. were all just going through the same sad thing. my heart breaks all too often and im just waiting for time to do its thing. i want to feel possibilities and happiness when i wake up instead of dread and dissapointment.

(no subject)

i should write this down before i forget it.

spencer : hey i noticed you had a piece of paper over there
me: yeah bubs what was it
spencer: oh just a piece of trash
me: okay bubs ill get rid of it
spencer: no papa i worte a very important message on it
me: oh
spencer: (brings over the paper and shows me that he wrote "i love you" on it) see its an important piece of paper now you cant get rid of it.
  • Current Mood
    fucking nostalgic for yesterday

(no subject)

all i wanted was for us to have a life that was sustainable. simple. a bubble for us. the more i dwell on it the more confusing it becomes. was i that person to you? but really was i? or were you just trying to figure yourself out? was i really an angry person? i dont remember ever being that way, but i remember the frustrations eating at me. see sustainable life. and the lack of its achievement. trips to places where people are set in that bubble, i think about having kids at 22. and it made me want to have that life more ferociously. i wandered around for a bit trying not to miss any of my childrens firsts. trying to make sure i was here and there, so that i could do what i am now, only i realize that where i am now, means nothing if im not there with you all. pretty much in a tough spot. trying ot understand how to move forward. i feel like i need to shed the old skin of that life, and im not sure i can do it by constantly pushing forward and telling myself im okay. cause fuck, it still hurts like it happend yesterday.

(no subject)

getting old, and dying of boredom, expensive mistakes. applied for a job,  im tired of universals high school atmosphere. when the bubs is born....when the bubs is born. cannot wait, we are going to have so much fun. buying baby clothes is maddening as it is all too cute. need to finish filing my taxes. some people are hard to love. its crazy but i think i finally learned to type mavis beacon style homeboy. i am unlearning how to spell i need to pick up a fucking book every now and then.